Day 50-58 -Jog. Skipped.
Day 59 - Jog - done.
Whole of last week I gave into my reasons and skipped the jog. I also noticed that there was absolutely no 'josh' to do anything. Again work was seeming boring. What a waste of time?
Once slipped, it took more than a week to come back to normal, joshful life. Unless I take charge and break the pattern Life is waiting for dis-empowering reasons to occupy it and make me feel victim and powerless. What a shame! Even knowing all this makes no difference when I get into 'its' grips.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Day 47-50 - Granting being
Day 47 - Jog - done
Day 48,49 - Jog - missed due to travel
Day 50 - Jog - missed for Art of Living
For last few days one thing was bothering me. I have a friend who sometimes shares about some breakdown at her workplace. The moment I hear about it I feel sorry for what she is going through and would want to make a difference to her. And I think that I know where the root of this is or if not I would get to know it and resolve the issue for her. So I start and go on either probing further or giving some analogy or asking her to see the problem from a different perspective etc. Within no time I get into 'gyaan' giving mode. And I start talking more and giving her less or sometime no chance to speak. That's when she [I think] gets irritated and stops me saying 'enough of gyaan'. Then I suddenly realize that unknowingly I have entered the gyaan mode and I feel bad for doing that.
On Saturday when I was looking at this I got few insights. I saw that when my friend came to share the breakdown I would think that she is suffering it and that she is not capable of overcoming it herself. And I would say that I can help her overcome that. Though my intention was to make a difference the place I was coming from was that she is incapable of handling this situation. I think all she wants is a buddy who would listen intently so that she can share her heart out. But I, instead of being a buddy, would become the coach, without even being asked for coaching.
I also noticed that she was not sharing that to get it resolved by me. In fact she would say that she would feel bad that day but would be okay by the next day. But I was not okay her being that way. I wanted to make her suffer free. But it also meant that I was trying to fix her that way of being - suffering for a day and thinking next day it would get over. I was not granting her way of being. That was at the root of it all.
Once I saw it I could let her be that way. I could grant her being. Now I can just listen to her, without giving any gyaan and without getting bothered by what she is going through. As of this writing I am realizing that just by listening I can let her empty her concerns. Apart from listening intently I will be a clearing for her getting what she wants out of the sharing. And if she wants coaching I am available for that and I am sure that then it would not occur as gyaan to either me or her. I am feeling so peaceful now!
Day 48,49 - Jog - missed due to travel
Day 50 - Jog - missed for Art of Living
For last few days one thing was bothering me. I have a friend who sometimes shares about some breakdown at her workplace. The moment I hear about it I feel sorry for what she is going through and would want to make a difference to her. And I think that I know where the root of this is or if not I would get to know it and resolve the issue for her. So I start and go on either probing further or giving some analogy or asking her to see the problem from a different perspective etc. Within no time I get into 'gyaan' giving mode. And I start talking more and giving her less or sometime no chance to speak. That's when she [I think] gets irritated and stops me saying 'enough of gyaan'. Then I suddenly realize that unknowingly I have entered the gyaan mode and I feel bad for doing that.
On Saturday when I was looking at this I got few insights. I saw that when my friend came to share the breakdown I would think that she is suffering it and that she is not capable of overcoming it herself. And I would say that I can help her overcome that. Though my intention was to make a difference the place I was coming from was that she is incapable of handling this situation. I think all she wants is a buddy who would listen intently so that she can share her heart out. But I, instead of being a buddy, would become the coach, without even being asked for coaching.
I also noticed that she was not sharing that to get it resolved by me. In fact she would say that she would feel bad that day but would be okay by the next day. But I was not okay her being that way. I wanted to make her suffer free. But it also meant that I was trying to fix her that way of being - suffering for a day and thinking next day it would get over. I was not granting her way of being. That was at the root of it all.
Once I saw it I could let her be that way. I could grant her being. Now I can just listen to her, without giving any gyaan and without getting bothered by what she is going through. As of this writing I am realizing that just by listening I can let her empty her concerns. Apart from listening intently I will be a clearing for her getting what she wants out of the sharing. And if she wants coaching I am available for that and I am sure that then it would not occur as gyaan to either me or her. I am feeling so peaceful now!
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