Day 14 - An interesting WWTT :)

Jog - done.

WWTT #1: Everyday after my jog I stop to have a tender coconut. The vendor charges a fixed Rs.12. Today he gave a little smaller coconut. I thought of asking him a discount of Rs. 2. Just after the thought came in another followed saying after all its two rupees, should I really ask?. Immediately I saw it as my hesitation and I said to myself "It's not the money; it's my self expression at stake. I will ask". Just then a good looking woman came and asked for a coconut. Within an instance my self expression took a 200 mt dive into the darkness. How could I ask a discount of mere two rupees in front of a Lady? No way!!

It's funny to read it now. But it was so true for me then. Then I said this was the opportunity to overcome this. God knows how many times I have not bargained because there was some beautiful girl around or some other suave set of people. Then I asked the vendor if that small coconut too was priced at Rs.12, and I was very sure that the answer would be an yes. But surprisingly he said that it was Rs.10! Lady, I don't know who you are, but you almost cost me two rupees and, my self expression :)

WWTT #2: In the evening I attended an event called 'Causing the Miraculous'. At the end of the event I saw a person who was once a course leader for one of the courses I attended. I just wanted to say 'hi' to her. When I approached her two more people started talking to her. Once she looked at me and then turned to them and began to talk with them. After they left another person came and she started talking to this third person - not giving me attention even though she noticed me. Knowing who she is, I did not think that she de-respected me. But the thought of me standing there and not being talked to while others possibly noticing this was too much for me to bear it. Besides, I did not have anything important to speak to her - just a 'hi'. So I was thinking what will she think if I stood for so long just to say hi! I wanted to come out of there. The urge of getting out of that - a kind of embarrasment - was very strong. But I knew it was yet another classic WWTT. And just to have a victory over it I stood there, siad hi to her and then came home!

This second WWTT may look such a simple thing. But I know how terrible I was feeling in one similar situation I just got present to. In 2004 I was in a global conference. One of the VPs I knew asked me to join a meeting. It was an important meeting attended by many high profile people and I did not know anybody personally, except my boss, who was not expecting me there. And the person who invited me did not show up. I was feeling totally out of place. I did not know what to do. They had seen me and so wouldn't actually object me being there. But for me, they were talking of some important and sensitive stuff and I was being embarrased for being there. I felt that I was an unwanted person - though the reality was that others just did not bother. But I went around the room - just enough distance so as not hear what they were talking - to ensure I was not intruding in their meeting! I did many stupid things like just read, reread the agenda of the conference, keep staring at wall painting, etc. Really crazy stuff! Now, actually I was making a fool of myself and that made me be even more embarrassed. I was hating the whole experience. I was wondering when that VP who invited me turns up and calls me to sit in the meeting - that way legitimizing my attendance!

Today's WWTT #2 was somewhat close but not as bad. So I thought this is the right place to register my 2004 experience and relive it and try to laugh at it :)