Day 25 - They did think!

Jog - done.

WWTT#1: For many years I was fearing what people think and not doing things I wanted to. When it was too much to take I thought not to worry about what will they think (WWTT) and started doing what I wanted, of course without affecting anybody and within social limits. And for last 3 weeks I noticed that people actually don't bother of what I do and I was feeling great.

Two days back, when I was exercising after completing the jog I thought of doing some 'weight' exercises - without weights! I know that even that is useful and helps the muscles. But immediately the thought came in - what will passersby think if they see me do this 'ridiculous' thing? Then I found that it was a WWTT and declared boldly that I will do it. And I did it for two days and nobody bothered. It was a victory! Yey!

Today, I had a reality bite. When I was half way through that 'zero' weight exercise three young guys were passing by. One of them notice me and he might have found it funny. He then showed me to his two other friends and they giggled. I noticed that and instantly I wanted to stop. "What an embarrassment!" I thought. But somehow I kept continuing. But even after they passed that place I was feeling awkward and wanted to stop. I started giving reasons - it's enough for today, why not stop it for two rounds only? Why do the remaining one? does it really add value? But I continued doing it because it was a word I had given to myself to have victory over WWWT no matter how hard it is - a matter of honoring my word!

I realized how hard it is to face it when it really happens, when people really think something I don't want them to think. I was shocked to know how much 'what others think' matters to me. I have still not gotten over that completely. But it was good

WWTT#2: I have shared this blog with many people. So I am getting present to different readers. So at one point I felt that I should write the stuff that makes sense to my readers. I wanted to write about the above WWTT. But then stopped myself saying 'It doesn't add much value. It's similar thing as I have had earlier. What's new in it?'. When speaking to a friend today he distinguished an important thing. He said 'Blog, like painting, is personal thing. Something you write for your sake and not for others'. It touched me and I thought I will write what I want to write. It's no way disrespecting my readers. At the same time not worrying too much about writing in order to give only new details.

Now I am realizing that I was actually not fulfilling the promise of writing about my WWTTs no matter similar thing happened earlier. As long as it made me hesitate it is real and I want to write. Writing adds more clarity to me than just thinking in my head. Cool!